5 ways Stefan was actually a great boyfriend (& 5 he wasn’t)

Stefan Salvatore was often Elena’s perfect boyfriend in The vampire diary. He went out of his way to show her that she was loved and did whatever it took to protect her. It’s easy to see why so many viewers are part of Team Stefan and were disappointed with the outcome of The vampire diary ‘ controversial love triangle.

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However, Stefan acted differently in every relationship he was in and he made a lot of mistakes. He didn’t always treat his love interests the way they deserved, which made it difficult to stick to some of his romances. There are several reasons why Stefan could be considered a great boyfriend, but that doesn’t make up for all of the ways he’s the worst.

ten Great boyfriend: he respected Elena’s decisions


While the show is over, the Stelena vs. Delena debate will likely never die. There are reasons to be on both sides, but when it comes to respecting Elena’s independence, Stefan is the better choice. Damon loved Elena selfishly and would go against his wishes to ensure the result he wanted.

Alternatively, Stefan figured out that just because he had the power to force Elena’s hand, that didn’t mean he had the right. When she begged Stefan to save Matt on herself, Elena asked him to make the ultimate sacrifice. Respecting Elena’s decision meant losing her, but Stefan couldn’t bring himself to take away her free will.

9 It wasn’t: he lied to Elena for months

In a way, what Stefan did to Elena is no different than what all of the characters have done at some point. It is risky for them to reveal their vampirism to anyone, let alone someone they have just started dating. For this reason, it’s understandable that Stefan wasn’t honest with Elena from the start.

Still, he kept several things from her early in their relationship, and Elena didn’t find out that she was the same as Katherine until after they slept together. One wonders when and if Stefan would have told her about the resemblance if Elena hadn’t found Katherine’s portrait.

8 Great boyfriend: he put his partner’s needs before his own

Paul Wesley as Stefan in The Vampire Diaries flashback episodes

No matter who he was with, Stefan’s needs were always secondary to those of his partner. Whether it’s something as simple as letting them schedule a date or important like trading his life for theirs, Stefan has always put his love interests before him.

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In fact, it didn’t just apply to the people he was dating. Stefan is an inherently selfless character who would give a stranger the shirt off his back. Even after everything she did to him, Stefan stayed with Katherine while she died, and he was the only character who offered her love and forgiveness.

7 Was not: his proposal to Caroline was disappointing

Stefan and Caroline holding hands in The Vampire Diaries.

There are several things that prevent viewers from believing that Stefan and Caroline were soul mates in The vampire diary. Stefan didn’t go above and beyond for Caroline like he did for Elena, even though Caroline has a personality that demands it.

It’s true that when two people are in love, nothing else matters, but Caroline deserved someone who would do anything for her. Although his answer would have been the same no matter what, Stefan should have given Caroline the proposal of his dreams. Instead, he let her find the ring in a drawer, and she had to convince him to officially ask the question.

6 Great boyfriend: he always made romantic gestures towards Elena

Stefan and Elena kiss on the Ferris wheel in The Vampire Diaries.

Unlike the way he acted with Caroline, Stefan was a hopeless romantic with Elena. His gestures were both big and small, and the normality of it made Stefan and Elena the closest couple to The vampire diary.

Stefan took Elena to the top of the Ferris wheel for a kiss, took her on a hike to watch the sunset and showed up to her house with flowers. He also knew that Elena couldn’t cook and usually made elaborate dinners for the two of them.

5 Was not: he chose to take revenge on Elena

Elena cries after Stefan tries to kick her out of Wickery Bridge.

Stefan has done a lot of horrible things in his life, but no one ever dreamed that he would hurt Elena. It was shocking to watch him force-feed her with his blood and threaten to chase her from the same bridge she almost died on alongside her parents.

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Although he only used Elena’s fear to make Klaus believe he was serious, Stefan still chose to take revenge on her anyway. He forced her to relive the most traumatic moment of his life just so he could show Klaus who was in charge.

4 Great boyfriend: he died saving Katherine

Katherine is one of Stefan’s best love interests, despite everything that has happened between them. She was only a few choices away from earning her redemption, and there were times when it seemed like Stefan was in love with Katherine again.

The characters put themselves in dangerous situations every day, but their supernatural healing makes things less risky. Stefan was human and vulnerable when he and Damon tried to save Katherine in 1864, showing he was just as brave without his abilities. He was unaware that Katherine was feeding him with her blood and never expected to return as a vampire.

3 Worse: he tried to “fix” Elena

Stefan’s love for Elena was described as unconditional, which made his attempt to “fix” her in The vampire diary Season 4 does not seem out of place. He became obsessed with the idea of ​​turning her into a human, and it was more for him than for Elena. Stefan always loved Elena selflessly, but after she became a vampire their relationship fell apart.

He didn’t like the person she had become and he treated her differently than before. In Stefan’s defense, Elena also treated him differently by going behind his back with Damon. Although she didn’t do anything technically considered cheating, Elena shouldn’t have been “dirty dancing” with her boyfriend’s brother.

2 Great boyfriend: he cared about the emotional repercussions

Stefan kisses Elena in The Vampire Diaries

One of the main differences between the brothers is that Stefan understood that emotional well-being is just as important as physical. Damon was willing to put Elena to the test if that meant keeping her alive, and thought Stefan was too busy worrying about collateral damage.

Life is about more than just survival, and Stefan was determined to make Elena live life to the fullest. Rather than choosing the quick and brutal exit, he always tried to find a solution that saved him all unnecessary suffering.

1 It wasn’t: he harassed Elena for months

Stefan and Elena at the cemetery in The Vampire Diaries.

Because the show never made it a problem, it’s easy for fans to gloss over the fact that Stefan stalked Elena for months. It has been mentioned so casually that it takes a few times for it to sink in.

Elena’s resemblance to Katherine threw Stefan for a curl, and his harassment seemed justified because of it. This is just one of the many things that make no sense in Stefan and Elena’s relationship., Damon was able to realize that she wasn’t Katherine just by talking to her.

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